Sometimes, just sometimes, things go right. Clarification: things go right all the time, but when many big things go right, one after another, and the sighs of relief don't seem to be stopping, it's easy to believe that there is someone up there looking out for you.
Lately I have been feeling as though my life is un-balanced. That I haven't found balance. Attending school, homework, exams, job #1, learning job #2, keeping up relationships with friends and family, attempting to keep the dishes washed, the laundry done, the clothes off the floor and dinner on the table is proving to be quite the feat and I catch myself wondering how I got myself into this year of undeniable disorganization. I try whole-heartedly to keep from dwelling on that which could lead me down a path that I'm not willing to give into. When halves full turn into halves empty, you know you're going the wrong way. It's obvious that this is not the year of plenty, in dollars in my bank account or in A's on my report card. No, this year is about subsisting; it's about learning how to live in this time of my life. What it means to sacrifice on so many levels and what it means to go like go and not waste time. That being said, it's also about rewards and seeing beauty and finding joy in things that last year at this time, I may not have. The question is where my priorities lie - a question that, try as I might, is seemingly impossible to answer. Though I can't seem to muster up a hierarchy of max importance to getting shoved down down down under the couch importance (right now that would be my biology textbook), maybe next year when I look back I will recall events and dates that I chose what was valuable and hopefully I will be glad I did. Maybe I'm learning what it means to prioritize without knowing it. I know I'm learning how to live within the means of two shifts per week at the cafe, and that must be worth something.
This is my life as of late, if given the chance to contemplate, I sit in stress.
Today, however, I feel like I've been cut a break. Lucky V is me, and I will not let it pass me by without a word of thanks. Oh no. So thanks today, it has been wonderful and I've enjoyed every second of every sigh.
Here's to tomorrow, it shall be just as grand.
Stressfully yet hopefully,
Yours truly xo
