happy

I can't help but feel completely happy lately. It's lovely, really. In my  home, relationships, job(s) and self : I am happy. 

Days as of late consist of biking (!!), walking to my jobs, to my school, spending time with my beloved(s), drinking tea with lemon and honey. Cooking dinner with ingredients I have never used before, working at the coffee shop and having so much fun, leaving the doors open, closing when it's still light out. Learning to like brewed coffee, black.  

The list could go on. I guess I'm thankful that I'm happy. When you are not happy, you can remember a time when you were happy. When you are happy, you can tell that you weren't happy at some point. It's nice to see a contrast. It's nice to record the simplicities of your daily life and how you feel. 

I'm looking forward to the weekend. One of my dearest friends turns 29 and we will celebrate. I will see my family and I will catch up with my love. 

Happy day friends, I hope your bike rides make you smile. 

V. xo

tea

tea is good for many things. it is good when you are sick. it is good when you are sleepy. it is good in the morning and at night. it is also good at any time to make you feel so nice. my first cup of tea that i can remember was in grade 4. it was peppermint. i had never heard of peppermint tea before. the smell, before my first sip, made me feel so happy. when i tasted it i knew it was my favourite. it still is. tonight i can't sleep and i am drinking tea. it is licorice because my dad likes licorice tea. it makes me think of him and feel like i know him and that we are sharing something nice. to tea. v. xo

bonjour/au revoir

these keys feel funny. like winter clothes after the summer. material touching your legs. it's all very strange. so here I am, in my winter clothes, pressing the keys. yes, here i am.

saying googbye is mostly always hard. some people love saying goodbye to university, i, for one, am not one of those. i feel like just when i started getting it, really playing the part, becoming more confident in my thoughts and in my written words, it's over. my last day of classes was odd and hard. apparently it showed, one of my favourite professors asked si j'ai passe une nuit blanche? mais non, i responded, je me suis endormi a dix heures. he said sorry. i wanted to tell him quickly that i was sad to leave him, but i couldn't think of the words and was too busy blushing about how he thought i looked like a nuit blanche. i have blushed at every word he has said to me all year, all of the years, why would i have stopped then. now that the last day is over, holidays don't seem so foreign. no, we are re-aquainting ourselves well. christmas time is nearing. the best time is nearing. i love christmas. so far i have baked cinnamon shortbread and chocolate gingerbread cookies. yum. more to come. as for tonight, the sheets are calling. tomorrow i'll be up before the sun, pulling shots for the masses and for me.

bonne nuit. it was nice to feel these keys again. i'll be back again soon.

v. xo

A Mennonite Remembrance Day

What I wrote but kept to myself last year on the day after Remembrance Day:

"Yesterday was November 11th, the date countries of the Commonwealth celebrate, or mourn rather, all those who our countries have lost to war. At the eleventh hour, on the eleventh day and in the eleventh month, this year I spent cutting squares of delightfully sweetened treats, arranging butter cubes on plates, and mixing a large vat of virgin cocktail with star shaped ice in punch bowls. I have to admit that thoughts of soldiers, poppies or the tragedy of war steered clear of my train of pre-occupied thoughts. It was our "Peters Clan" Christmas celebration yesterday, and celebrate we sure did. Over-eating, carol singing and a lot of smiling, are all tell-tale signs of a Mennonite gathering, and yesterday our funciton included it all. To be fair, there were two poppies present yesterday, both sported by men with no traces of Russian, German, or Dutch blood. These men were lucky enough to marry a Mennonite lady, and apparently were uninformed regarding out stance on war and Remembrance Day, though I myself have never connected my pacifist heritage with the solemness of Remembrance Day. They have always co-existed peacefully, in true Mennonite fashion. Now that I'm aware that they clash, a re-assessment is in order."

Funny, my internal debate about Remembrance Day is still in full effect. I chose not to wear a poppy this year because I was still unsure. I also opted out of the Peters Clan Christmas which fell again on November 11, annually on November 11. What a funny life.

V. xo

Secrets. (after a long blog hiatus)

I mostly only tell my secrets to Landen. There are so many, sometimes one or two a week. I'm not sure how he keeps them all, but I know he does. He keeps lots of peoples secrets. Sometimes I rush home to tell him news I probably shouldn't know only to find he knows, and has known, for quite some time. He doesn't tell me. He doesn't tell anyone. This is how I know he keeps the secrets I sometimes shamefully, sometimes quietly and sometimes eagerly let him in on.

Lately I feel so conflicted about my job. It's not a real one, but it is kind of a secret. My job, though it is simple and seemingly un-important, makes me decide on a regular basis what kind of person I want to be. It is exhausting. I am fully aware that I may be the only server in the world with this type of introspective tendancy with regard to their chosen (temporary) profession. Alas, here I am.

Tonight I am weary and headachy and with two soft white cookies tucked into my belly, I will retire to my bed and say goodbye to a medium day.

Goodbye medium day,

V. xo

young v/me.

Mall shopping was not a common occurence in my family, though it was not because of a lack of interest in the act, but rather because of a lack of time to get there and to be there. A family of four girls can only accomodate so many outings when only one mother is transporting the lot. I remember specifically one time my sister Melissy and I shopping at KP, the mall in closest proximity to our North Kildonan homestead. I had a shirt in my hand that I wanted to buy but the options were either ask the salesperson for a dressing room or put it back. I chose to put it back. Talking to strangers was not my strong suit. Thankfully I had an older and wiser sister by my side to grab the shirt from my hands, say offputting comments about what a baby I was and ask the salesperson for me. The times when Melissy wasn't there are the reason I wore the same clothes over and over again for many years. Talking to salespeople and making purchases go hand in hand.

Something that occured regularly in my highschool days was taking the city bus home from school. The street my home was on and the street my school were on were off the same road, so it was an easy route to travel. Dad drove me to school in the morning faithfully but I was on my own for the trek back at the end of the day. My parents live at the edge of the city and therefore the last stop before the bus crosses the highway, goes through the loop and gets back on the road. Confession - if I was the only one on the bus, I was often too shy to ring the bell for the stop. I would stay on the bus as it crossed the highway and went in the loop and would get off there. This left me to run across the highway to get back onto my street. Yikes.

I think that I have come a long way. My shyness still comes out on a semi-regular basis, but I would say that if you know me now, you wouldn't see a resemblance in the girl from those stories and the person I am today. Funny how people grow [up].

V. xo

the best anniversary

I said wedding vows two years ago to the best man.
Today has been one of the best days we have shared together.
Run, ocean swim, Honolulu Coffee Co. coffee, a wavy beach for playing, Maui Tacos, etc.

To the end of love, my dear.

V. xo